A rather humorous situation occurred last night with the twins. Most of my children remember (or should I say, all of my children remember) that I am a stickler when it comes to curfews. The boys went on a triple date to the movies and then to the football field at the high school to play games. Of course, the boys had to be home no later than 11:30 p.m., and they knew not to be one minute late, or else!
The group was playing at the high school field when Hansan and Dallan herded everyone towards the car so they could get one of the girls home by her curfew at 11:00 p.m. The other guy didn't want to leave but by the skin of their teeth, the girl was home on time. Afterwards, they had to get the other two girls home pronto to ensure that the twins were in by their curfew. By this point, this would be a challenging task.
So, there I am, sitting in the living room, waiting, at 11:30 p.m.- no boys; 11:31- no boys; 11:35- no boys; 11:38- no boys; 11:40- I finally hear the door open. Hansan came in first acting happy as a lark, as if there's no care in the world, as if he wasn't a whopping10 minutes late; Dallan came bounding along behind him with a happy smile on his face. I mentally made note that both boys didn't seem concerned about the time. Now, look, I realize that 10 minutes late is only 10 minutes late, but in THIS household, 10 minutes late is definitely past curfew.
I said, "Hm, you are late", and then do you know what miracle occurred? Both boys' phones read 11:28 p.m., so you see, wonder of all wonders, they were not late! Ha ha ha ha ha--imagine that, my computer and my phone read 11:40 p.m. I wonder how THAT happened? Sometimes kids think parents were born yesterday, I swear.
So, what happened next, you wonder ... well, I let them dig their holes deeper and deeper as they stuck to their guns while I listened intently (alright, I admit it, amusingly is a better word), trying to be the angel mother I was meant to be; this went on for another 10 minutes, and I was quiet as a butterfly as I listened to them weaving their web. Once all was quiet and there were no more words spewing from these two creatures, I said, "Hmm, interesting that your phones are both 10, or should I say, 12 minutes behind all the other clocks in the house, or perhaps, even within the whole world. I mean, maybe your satellite frequency is picking up from martian time zones, unlike all others." At that point, the sweat on their foreheads, which encases their tiny little teenage brains, became very apparent.
It was rather interesting as I sent them off to bed, letting them wallow in the confusion of does she know, or doesn't she, does she believe us, or doesn't she, is she mad, or isn't she? Then the beans came rolling out of their tiny little mouths with Hansan going first: "Mom, we aren't telling the truth." In my mind I'm thinking, no kidding! But, being the angel mother that I am, instead I said, "Really?" And then Dallan spoke up and proceeded to say that it was just a BIG JOKE. Ooops, we were almost there, but then they go and blow it farther down into the deepening hole! *sigh*
Both boys said they were on the way home and told the driver about how worried they felt because mom will be upset about missing the curfew, but the driver-friend had an easy solution, just change the time on the phones - brilliant! Of course, Hansan and Dallan thought it an ingenious suggestion and hopped right on it.
I told them that being late was not good, but lying about it definitely makes it much worse and that I was disappointed in them for lying to me. By this time it was a little after midnight and both boys went on upstairs to bed. I was still sitting on the couch reading 30 minutes later when Hansan came back downstairs looking anguished and repentant. He told me he was very, very sorry and that he wouldn't do it again. Now, how on earth can a mother's heart not soften up to that? It was only a minor thing, and I certainly don't want to make it seem bigger than it is, but the lessons of honesty, integrity, obedience, forgiveness, and repentance are huge for future decisions.
There's more to this little story, but I will leave it at this. I realize these are two good boys who want to be respectful and obedient and do the right thing. I love them very much, and maybe, just maybe, in the next life I will become that angel mother they deserve .... *sigh*
Oh, and, teenagers make the world go round! :-)
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So you think you know what's really going on? I feel the judgement, the condescending attitude. I try to pretend it's not there, but it is. You assume to know, but you don't.
Reminder to self: Don't judge others. There is an old saying about not judging someone until you've walked in their shoes, but I say, even if you think you've walked in their shoes, do not judge.
An example: I was driving down the road in LA many years ago. A guy in front of me was driving ridiculously below the speed limit and I could not get around him; I was in a hurry. After about 15 minutes, to say the least, I was not a happy camper. Come to find out, this guy was a friend, and his wife had just had a miscarriage and he was very sadly upset. Had I known the full facts, would I have felt so impatient? No.
Another example: A young lady didn't have enough money to feed her kids, yet she always wore new clothes. One might sit in judgement thinking how dare she, she's on welfare, yet she can afford to buy those fancy clothes? Well, come to find out, one of her sisters couldn't give her money to help feed her sister's kids, but she could share nice hand-me-downs that she was given by one of her friends.
So, really, how do you know what's really going on? And that's not even the point, the point is, do not judge. Please don't help out if you feel it's your right to be judge and jury and bask in a pool of self-righteous indignation as you snit around with your nose up in the air!
The End.
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