Surprise!

   I was excited more than I can express when somebody special surprised me with a visit for the weekend! My day could not have been made any better!

GUESS WHO?!!! :-)

   Michael is taking the MCAT right here in Phoenix so he could come for a visit and he purposely kept it from me. I was so happy to see him. We went to two of the twin's basketball games last night and I'm about ready to drive him to his testing site. He will be here for Jackson's baby blessing and then fly back home very early Monday morning. Look at those beautiful blue eyes. They remind me of cornflowers. 

   And look at who is playing Mario Kart 8 with my grandchildren. I miss them so much and it makes me smile to see this picture.

   The twins have 3 basketball games to play today and I have loads of homework. Life never stands still except when I'm working in my yard. :-) 

I Know.

   I shed tears and my heart aches ... 

   my little boy, now a young man.

   What is in store for you, Timothy? 

   Life can seem so hard...

   when you have no idea who you are ... 

   but I know. 

   And you are very, very loved. 

   I will always have great hopes for you. 

I will always believe in you. 

You are treasured. 

You will figure it out.

But for now, the tears flow....

until you discover what it is that I know.

And God knows most of all. 

 

Memorial Day

  Thank goodness there's no school on this Memorial Day, even though I still have lots of homework. My children and grandchildren came over for a swim/ice cream party.

   Timothy called me on Saturday and we had a lengthy conversation. My Timothy, Timothy. He sounded good and is happy that his friend, Nate, is now his roommate. He's a guy Timothy loves to jam with and they seem to get along well. Fortunately, Nate likes to keep the kitchen clean. Timothy's rent is $300 a month which also includes utilities unless they go over $100 and if so, they split the overage 3 ways with the landlord. Nate pays $250 a month because his bedroom is the smallest. When he called he was at the library doing homework. He said he's behind but the professor told him that she wouldn't dock him any points if he catches up within the week. Apparently he's hooking up with Mandy again. She's a girl he liked and dated a lot a couple of years ago. Now she has a child who is about 8 months old. What concerns me is that Timothy is now saying that he feels he's ready to have children. Oh my, my. I told him that he needs to learn how to take care of himself financially before taking on more responsibility. I have a feeling Timothy might have to learn that lesson a different way than what I'd choose for him. *sigh* I love him so much and only wish happiness and success for him. He's got a big heart and is fun to talk with. I miss him. I'm afraid he thinks he's going to be this knight in shinning armor who runs in to try and rescue the fair maiden.

   Dallan has to work today and I'm about to drop Hansan off at a service project. Sick or not, the day goes on.

   OH! And I Taylor is totally smitten.... 

1-2-3, Testing, Testing...

   I have been up since 4:15 a.m. because my stomach is bothering me- has been for a few days. I hate it when I can't sleep, tossing and turning until I finally throw in the towel and turn on my light. No doubt I haven't been eating well and then I pay the price of my own consequences.

   Dallan and I worked in the yard yesterday morning. It's always nice to have a child working along side me while doing yard work. We pulled weeds and watered. Afterwards, while Hansan was at work, we drove to Scottsdale to return the Microsoft Surface Pro 2 I bought in California with Tommy's help; the screen is just too small. I preordered the Surface Pro 3 (without obligation) that comes out on June 20th. I like my own laptop but I'm frustrated with the power cord problem. This is the 4th cord I've had to replace. Samsung really blew it with this particular problem. While at the mall Dallan had fun sitting in a Tesla and playing with the dash computer, encouraged by a salesman, as if we might be interested to purchase a $95,000 car for my teenage son.

   Around 5 p.m. it was time for Hansan to come home and Dallan's turn to head to work. The boys had gone to a girl's house to watch a movie the night before, and then last night they were invited to a girl's 16th birthday party. I dropped Hansan off at 8 p.m., came home, then found out that Dallan was sent home from work early due to a slow night, so turned back around and dropped him off at the party at 8:30. I came home, then drove back to pick up the boys from the party at 11:00 p.m.  In the meantime Hansan kept texting me to ask if they could stay longer and I moved the curfew from 10:30 to 11:00. Of course I said NO when he then asked if they could stay until midnight. I told them to be out to the car by 11 sharp, which, thankfully, they were. I'm a bit OCD about curfew times and I think most of my teenagers figure that out OR ELSE!  Hansan asked me earlier during the day if I realized that they are always the first to leave parties. I informed him that I don't compare our rules to other family rules, and that this is the way our rules have been since the beginning of time in this family, and also that MOST of my teenagers have said the same thing, and even now, it makes NO DIFFERENCE what time the other kids have to be home. He took it in stride but still tested the waters throughout the evening.

 

Love and Respect.

   I started back to school on Monday. I had a wonderful, peaceful time at Tommy's, then flew back into the Phoenix area on Sunday morning. After church the boys and I basically had a lazy day. For FHE on Monday the boys wanted to go see the latest Spiderman movie so we did.

   Which reminds me, Tommy took me to the IMAX rendition of Godzilla. I hadn't been to an IMAX in years. Like a child, I wanted to reach out and touch whenever objects appeared smack in front of my face. I love it that Tommy makes a point of spending time with me. Xiaojun is wonderful, too; she respects and shares feelings and concerns with me. They both make me feel needed and loved. Noel, Brickman, and Lincoln are adorable. They also treat me with great respect and love. I loved it when they wanted to sit right next to me, and would follow me into the next room. It's times like these that make being a grandma so rewarding. They are happy and well-adjusted, being taught not only academics, sports, music, and spiritual matters, but also manners, discipline and respect.  Their eyes are bright and full of mischief and fun. The spirit of their home and relationship is very inviting and comforting.

   I attended Brickman's first chess tournament. I was impressed that Tommy and Xiaojun made a point to teach him to make friends with his chess partners and how to act gracious and kind after his wins, and to be a good sport. Some parents don't think of these aspects of life lessons. I give myself some credit for trying to teach this way as well so it was reassuring to see this passed on to my grandchildren. Tommy and Xiaojun are both very aware as parents and extremely involved and constantly on the alert to teach in the moment. It's a 24/7 job and some parents do not get this.

 

   It sounds like we will be overloaded in my program during the summer. There is a LOT of writing and reading, presentations and role-playing. The professors say that if we can make it through this summer Bridge Program then it should seem easier through the Fall and Spring semesters. Now that I'm in the master's program I foresee that the content is very interesting and I feel excited that this is the right degree for me. I feel anxious about the statistics class coming up though, but hopefully Emrie will help get me through it okay. 

   Who would have ever thought that I'd be earning a master's degree?! It was never in my wildest dreams, to tell you the truth. I always wanted a college education and hoped that someday I could obtain a bachelor's degree, but that was it. So this is about as surprising to me as it is to anyone else. I am fortunate and blessed for this opportunity. Yesterday one of my classmates asked me how old I was and when I said 59 her mouth dropped and she looked sincerely in shock, then stared at me for a few seconds. I know I'm an older student but it's never too late, right? And besides that, I will get it without any debt! I feel blessed and thankful for this opportunity. 

   It was nice to have Nathan's family come over and use my pool and eat pizza today. As the girls were swimming around I watered plants and had fun spraying them. Ashlynn would not answer my questions and this bothers me. Nathan bought a 2005 Harley Davidson. He's pretty proud of it and I wish I had taken his picture as he drove away. 

   

Aging

   Already Friday! My enjoyable time at Tommy's has gone by so fast. We are going to San Francisco today. We will meet up with Tommy for lunch and then head to Chinatown. It's been a few years since I've seen SF. We will walk around until time for Tommy to get off work and then drive back with him.

   Update: Pictures from our field trip to Chinatown and Tommy's work:

Chinatown

Tommy's office is in the old Bank of America building, which sits next to the new Bank of America building, which is also the tallest building in San Francisco. 

Downtown San Francisco, in front of Tommy's office building 

Inside Tommy's office. 

Changing to more comfortable shoes after a day at the office. 

   Yesterday, after Xiaojun got back from Noel's violin lesson, she and I drove to an outdoor mall. I bought the boys a pair of Sunday pants and a pair of sports shorts, and gave Tommy his  birthday shirt (early) and some chocolates. When we arrived back home we had a fun evening playing Clue with the whole family.

   After everyone else went upstairs and off to bed, Tommy and I had some one-on-one talking time. He tried to help me talk through my health (weight/exercise) issues. It's nice to know that he cares. When I get home I will set some little goals to try and get myself back on course. I don't mind aging because it's the normal process in life, but I do mind aging as a fat lady whose health is always on the line. I wish I could have some help, but realize I need to take responsibility for my own choices and decisions. *sigh* - it's just getting back on course that I need help with, though. I'm not sure what the answer is for me since I have a problem with sticking to things these days. Anyway, it was heartwarming that he cares so much to bring it up and gently try and talk me through this.

"...So regardless of its size, shape, color, or any 

imagined infirmities, you can honor the temple that 

houses you by eating healthfully, exercising, listening to your

body's needs, and treating it with dignity and love."

Dr. Wayne Dyer

   It was a beautiful evening. As I was laying in bed the moon was brightly shining on my face and I could hear a little breeze swaying the tree branches. This apartment sits right beside the gate that opens and closes every time the cars go in and out of the complex - even these sounds are pleasant. The sliding door to the bedroom was wide open with the screen door closed so the breeze flowed through the room and the air felt fresh and good. This morning the birds were chirping and it's so lovely to view all the greenery through the windows. I love this.

Outside the kitchen window. 

Pleasanton

   I flew out of Mesa and into Oakland on Sunday to visit Tommy's family for a week. Tommy picked me up from the airport and we had a pleasant conversation as we drove to his home in Pleasanton, Californina. It was wonderful to feel the excitement from my grandchildren as they greeted me with big smiles and hugs. Xiaojun works very hard at home schooling and I am proud of her for having the discipline to ensure their very good education. Music, sports, chess, reading, math, etc., are a daily occurrence and they love to learn and are learning to be independent learners as they are allowed to pursue their own individual interests and styles.

Music lessons usually consist of violin, piano, and, believe it or not, the Chinese zither.   From what I understand it's one of the most ancient Chinese instruments. According to Chinese legend (which I happen to be interested in), a master of the 25-stringed zither had two daughters who learned to play it too and they loved it and as the master aged and couldn't play anymore, his two daughters both wanted to inherit the beautiful instrument. The father wanted both of them to have it, so eventually he had the zither split into two instruments, one with 12 strings, the other with 13 strings. Because of this division the instruments sounded better, more mellow, than the original 25-stringed instrument. But it looks like Noel's zither has about 21 strings. 

Xiaojun played tennis for many years and is now teaching her children. All three kids will be good at it. 

I was spoiled on Mother's Day with flowers and chocolate and cupcakes, and Tommy made me some strawberry crepes!

I don't think Tommy realized that he gave me the flower Erick always gave me on Mother's Day

 - an orchid. I have not received one since his death so this was a nice surprise. 

All of my children checked in on Mother's Day and Nathan's family gave me a bouquet of hydrangeas and Cold Stone gifts cards. Yummy. 

This lovely little statue is entitled "I Love You", from Michael. 

   Pleasanton is a nice area in California. I wish I could afford to live here, and besides that, who wouldn't want an address with the word Pleasant as part of its name. 

   

The Outdoors

   When I was growing up my family did lots of camping. Dad was a big hunter and fisherman and he hunted and fished for anything that moved. We were never out of fresh meat. He was very good at making jerky and smoked salmon. Lots of men would bring their meats to dad so he could smoke it for them. I can say that I have never tasted smoked jerky or salmon that was as good as dad's; store-bought never tastes good to me because of this. 

   Like I said, we camped a lot. Dad would decide we were going, mom would cook up some food, we'd throw tents and sleeping bags into the back of the car, and off we'd go. Sometimes we'd camp on the beach, or in a thick forest, or next to a creek. Of course dad's guns and fishing poles were always thrown into the car, too. My siblings and I would roam around and play, climb trees, dig for clams, or play in the water. We were free to do whatever we wanted to do, however far we wanted to go, and get as dirty as was possible- that's just what camping was about. 

   As my own children were growing up I tried to give them a taste of this side of life. I'm sure that it's because of my own upbringing that I love the outdoors. I feel peace and solace in the midst of Mother Nature and I hoped that our kids would develop and enjoy this same love for one of God's greatest gifts- the beauty and wonder of earth's decor. 

   Both of my parents also loved working in the yard and garden at home. We had an immaculate yard and dad took care of our roses and made sure the lawn was manicured. Mom loved flowers and gardening and as children we were expected to put in our fair share of yard work during most weekends. Wayne always has an immaculately trimmed yard and Pam loves working in her garden and growing plants. She keeps her yard looking pretty, too. I love pulling weeds and puttering around outside. I've probably let my yard go more than my siblings, but before moving here I tried to keep the yards and gardens looking good and felt it was important to teach the kids how to work and care for them. Weeding is one of my favorite thinking times. I'm getting a handle on my yard again as I've learned more about the Arizona terrain and weather and during this school break. 

   Hansan and Dallan spent their own money to rent tuxedos last night. They have a church prom coming up on Saturday. I don't know how the heck prom dates turned into all day events. It drives me nuts. Both boys spent $98 for tuxedos. It's a good thing they have their own money. In order to keep expenses down they opted not to rent the shoes or white shirts. The kids learn lessons faster when they have to put out their own dough, so to speak. Now they are asking me if I will make the corsages. They are learning fast ... :-) Dallan said his date bought a dress (I'm sure the parents bought it) for $400!!! I told him I thought it was ridiculous. 

   

    

Internship

   I had another meeting at the Department of Economic Security today, only this time it was in the Tempe office, which I had never been to before. My first meeting was at the downtown Phoenix building.

  It sounds like this will be a very intense position since I will be starting out as an investigator. I will shadow someone for the fall semester and then be more on my own during the spring semester. There will be plenty of court appearances and because of this I can never wear jeans. Uh oh, I live in jeans. Guess that will have to change, which also means I need more clothes. :-(

   After I graduate with my MSW then I am bound to work for DES another 18 months, then I can do whatever I decide. I suspect I will stay with this job since the twins will be going on missions about the same time that I'm done with with the 18 months.

   The job has a good benefits package. Pays health, life, short and long-term disability insurance; vision and dental insurance; has a great retirement plan, and pays overtime, provides a car or pays for mileage; provides $425 per year for clothes, has 10 paid holidays and 10 sick days for first couple of years, then more afterwards. I've already written before that the stipend/scholarship equals to approximately $30,000 and my internship is only during the fall 2014 and spring 2015 semesters. I start the MSW program in May but don't intern during the summer. Though the starting pay is only $38,000-$40,000, considering the $30,000 scholarship, this bumps the pay up to much more. It sounds like pay raises are very good, especially for MSWs.

   I don't know, I hope it all works out. I'm worried about the time away from home, but maybe it will turn out to be more manageable than I am worried about with the boys still home. If it gets too heavy, mom has volunteered to come and help out, and it might come down to that, we will see.

   Our Governor is attempting to change the organization of child welfare and how it runs. Dan, my field instructor, said they might turn it into more of a police station. As children are taken out of the home, the parents could, more often, be sent to jail instead of trying to help them receive support to try to keep families together. A guy who has led the Department of Juvenile Corrections is working, first hand, with the governor to try and make these changes. It will be interesting to see how all of this plays out. I've been staying on top of the latest news about this for several months. I guess there was a specific reason why it peaked my interest.

   It has been stated that CPS employees in Arizona have about double the workloads in comparison to other states. When it was found out that thousands of questionable situations had not been investigated after reports of child abuse and neglect there was quite a public and governmental uproar, which spurred on the large undertaking of the program overhaul.

   Another concern I had was about my own safety in high emotional situations. Dan reassured me that as an intern they would never send me out to a home that was not well-known to be safe. However, a policeman will go with us when wanted or needed. He said that usually the people are more afraid of CPS than the other way around. And if you have your children, and they want them back, they'd better not be threatening anyone.

   For FHE, this evening, we worked out in the backyard. Hansan planted a Chinese evergreen elm tree; Dallan planted a dwarf, pink-flowered oleander and a purple-flowered sage bush ($2.99 each). Right after school they had a prom meeting (a group of six couples are involved) and plotted out some of the activities for that date. They are very excited and going to a lot of expense. Thankfully they make enough of their own money to pay for it. They will learn a good lesson from the expense of this date and the boys usually get it figured out once they have to spend their own money.

   Taylor called from France and talked almost 2 hours, actually they were in Brussels, Belgium but will be in Paris tomorrow. He and a buddy missed the original flight out of the USA and ended up a day behind, and $300 poorer to catch another flight. He lost his phone as he got off one of the trains in Bruge because they were about to miss another connection. He managed to call through Google Hangouts from his laptop- it was like Skype and I was surprised that I could see him in real time and that the connection was so good. His last text said they were heading to Bruges, then silence. I tried to call his phone but it must be dead. He used his roommate's iPhone to place a message onto his iPhone to call me if the phone is found. He's worried about open programs and accounts on his phone. Through his friend's phone they can track the usage so they will keep an eye on it and I will close his cell account down if this happens. Taylor felt sick about it.

   Timothy called a couple of days ago. He sounded upbeat but I'm worried about his latest GCU class. He says took him off guard at how much writing is required for this class but seems to think he's getting it under control. I hope so! I hate to see him experience academic and financial failure.

   I am flying to Tommy and Xiaojun's place this coming Sunday, and I didn't realize it was on Mother's Day (I celebrated mom's while she was here). Tommy called on Easter day and he sounded a little more insistent that I come for a visit - it made me feel like a loved mom. I didn't think I could schedule it since mom and Frank were here in April, but May works too, just before school begins on May 19th.

   I'm getting worried about my credit card usage. Lynne, get a handle on this! *sigh*