Jackson Erick Jones !

      Big event within our family! Jackson Erick Jones was born on March 15, 2014, weighing in at 8 lbs. 13 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long.

     Emrie and I drove to Tuscan together but took separate cars because I spent the night while Emrie came home. We made it in time to be there just before Jackson was born. 

     Richard and Jena will be good parents. My baby, Richie, now a daddy! 

The Interview

I went for a pretty big-deal scholarship/stipend ($24,000) interview this morning for my MSW which was held at The Department of Economic Security office in downtown Phoenix. I agonized about it all week but didn't feel too nervous during the interview. However, later in the day I was freaking out over how I should have/could have responded differently to interview questions. Why do I fret and worry so much when I know it's in God's hands?

Dallan worked at FlipSlide from 4:00-10:00 p.m. Hansan and I drove over to Emrie's for a little bit, then went to the Taco Bell drive-thru, to Target, then on home to spend this evening together.

If Richard and Jena don't have their baby over the weekend Jena will be induced on Monday. I am so excited! Luckily Richard started a week-long break from medical school today; perfect timing!

There are a lot of March birthdays in our family!

Apron Strings and Blackberries

It won't be long until Hansan and Dallan are old enough to leave the nest. Although I've gone through this before, it's never easy to loosen the apron strings. They are now 16 and ready to experience more and that's what we do, as parents, train them to move forward in life. Right now the boys are definitely interested in girls. It's a balancing act- loosening the reigns, yet taking up the slack.

The twins applied and interviewed for a job at FlipSide, a game center which has bowling, laser tag, bumper cars, an eatery, pool, miniature golf, etc. Tonight will be their first time working here. Dallan will work as a bus boy, and Hansan will start out in games. They are both excited and a big plus is that it's within walking distance.

When I was a little girl my first jobs were babysitting and picking blackberries. If you can believe it, a gallon of blackberries went anywhere from $.50 to $1.50 a gallon and babysitting pay was about the same per hour no matter how many children there were. I remember ordering seeds through the mail and excited about selling them door-to-door even though there were frequent rejections. I used to sell Current products this way, too (boxed stationery). I was not afraid to do whatever needed to have a little spending money. Cleaning houses and working for Al in her Montgomery Wards catalog store were two other jobs I did. Wendell Dunn hired me as a cashier in his pharmacy during my high school years.

I loved picking blackberries. We'd get all scratched up and sometimes accidentally fall into the stickery bushes, but it was still fun. To this day I love to pick blackberries and one of my favorite desserts is blackberry cobbler.

Comforting Rain

Thoughts are swimming around in my head; I don't know where to begin, except that I want to write it down. I am thinking about our friends who died earlier this week from carbon monoxide poisoning and the funeral was yesterday; a mom, dad, and two boys, ages 12 and 14, while the two oldest children were away serving missions. I am thinking about a son who feels anger towards me for not helping his family enough. I am thinking about all the mistakes I've made and seem to continue making more. I am thinking about the wonderful sound the rain makes as it falls outside my bedroom window, a rain we've desperately needed. Why are the dripping sounds of rain so comforting? Is it because I grew up in northern California where it rained so much and then the earth smelled cleansed and like a new beginning, a fresh start? I miss the ocean and the rain and the gigantic redwoods, the smells of mother nature, the quiet walking paths where one can be all alone with the peaceful, beautiful outdoors.

The death of our friends reminds me of how it was when Erick died. Life goes on. People move on. The memories are there forever, but the world does not stop revolving. It continues on and on and on, even if you are stuck on the inside where no one notices. Life is eternal, no doubts, and we will see our loved ones again, but our earth life is a moment that seems like forever in itself.

Like I said, thoughts are swimming around in my head and there is so much I would like to express more concisely, but I cannot. I am hindered by my own inability of mechanical expression, but it is in my heart...


And you are in my heart, dear Parrish Family: Ian, Liam, Bill, Ross, Keegan, and Jensen.

Wrinkled hands.

Here it is 4:30 a.m. and I find myself wanting to write. When I was younger, middle school age and into high school, I remember that writing about my thoughts and feelings was cathartic. I used to play around with writing poems. Over the years I'm not sure what happened to my many pages of journaling, but I find myself drawn back to it at this time in my life. It's still somewhat therapeutic and nowadays it's certainly much easier because of technology so why not take advantage of it. I have heard that some people find it comforting to talk to a tree, well, I suppose, this is my form of talking to a tree.

I will eventually try and share my life story. The only way I can think to do this is by sharing one story at a time, and not in sequence as it happened. I have a lot on my mind and I am going to try to make sense of some pretty harsh experiences, like the untimely deaths of my father, a sister, and my husband. There have been years of incest, alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, cheating, and lying. But there has also been resiliency, true joy, love, hope, faith, and the knowledge that no one gets through this life without experiencing deep valleys mixed with the upward feelings of heaven. We all have a story, and if we were to live the exact same experiences, we would have different perspectives on those same stories. Reality is individual.

Getting back to when I used to write poems, and I wrote a lot, here is one I remember that was a type of haiku:

"A wrinkled hand lay across the table; time had slipped swiftly through his fingers." 

And it has. I look at my hands and I wonder where the time has gone! My hands have wrinkles and sun spots and they look o-l-d-e-r, kind of like I'm ageing. I was living at home in Scotia, California only yesterday, it seems. Here I am, 58 years old; wow, time does fly.

Blooming Tulips

I have to share the blooming of my beautiful tulips. Unfortunately the picture is a little blurry, but they still look lovely. I wish they would stay fresh, but I will enjoy them while I can.  They remind me of a quote I really like: 

"In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer."  -Albert Camus, The Stranger

Due in March!

Right now the twins and I are sitting here at Richard and Jena's apartment. She looks like she's about ready to POP with child. :-)  They are such a wonderful couple and their baby is due in less than a month. I can't wait! Can you imagine Richard with his own little one? He's going to make a great father, as well as Jena will make a great mother.

While we were visiting in Tuscan we drove up Mt. Lemmon and had a good time playing around for a few hours. It was a beautiful drive, and if you can believe it, while it was 80 degrees in Tuscan, there was snow to play in on the mountain. 

Here are some pictures I took during the baby shower luncheon I put on for Jena on Feb 8th. It was a cozy little occasion with Emrie, Cindy and me. We wish Xiaojun could have participated. I used my best China and seved a 4-course meal of (1. salad (which Emrie made); 2. lobster bisque; 3. salmon and asparagus; and 4. cheese cake served with blueberries and strawberries. Jena opened gifts and we had a fun time playing a game and talking women-to-women. We don't have enough girlie time together.