Exposed ....

   Let's see, what do I want to write about today. Hmmm. Well, I didn't go to church. I was showered and dressed and then time was running out so I sent the boys off to church on bikes while I dried my hair and 'kind of' intended to be a little late. But then I talked myself out of it. You won't believe why, I'm sure. I don't know why I'm this way either. I was embarrassed to show up in church because of my hair! Ok, I said it out loud, and yes, it sounds as ridiculous as it truly is, but like I said, I don't know why I'm this way. Ever since my orange hair incident I've been wanting to hide, and even though I redyed it, it's very evident that it's not even close to my natural color and very dark.

   Believe me, I feel silly right now. I realized how ridiculous it was when Emrie asked, "Did you go to church today?" And I couldn't lie ... and there I sat, having to admit that I didn't. Of course, I don't think anyone realized my true, poor excuse except for Emrie, and that little admittance was enough to expose my inward idiocy.

   Richard and Jena spent a few hours at my house before we ran over to Emrie and Luke's for a family Easter get-together. I had a wonderful time talking to and holding Jackson before the crowd got to him. He's such a calm little guy and I see the glow in Richard and Jena's eyes as they talk about and interact with him. I see the same look in all of my children's eyes as they talk about their own children and I think it's wonderful.

   Nathan, Cindy, Ashlynn, Ellyce, Jillian, Natalee, Luke, Emrie, Miles, Masie, Lyla, Lars, Hansan, Dallan, Julia, Chris, and I all had a pleasant, yummy Easter dinner; all of the girls made dishes for it. The kids all played together well and the siblings and cousins had fun talking about medical school and careers and kids. We had a few laughs over Stepanie's little rolly-polly guy.

   When Jena was done nursing Jackson I got up and gave my seat to her so she could join in the conversation going on around the table. Richard was such a gentleman, a little later he got up and brought in a chair for me and insisted that I come back in and join them. I appreciated this care very much. Richard is usually conscience of my feelings and he's been this way since he was little. He isn't condescending towards me at all, plus he tickles my funny bone; his lighthearted, witty humor is refreshing.

   I had a nice conversation with Tommy who called to wish me a happy Easter. All is going well for them and they did a little car shopping yesterday. They need a bigger, more dependable car, for sure. He pressed for a visit and I think I can work it out before my school starts up, if I can find a decent priced flight. I love being around Tommy and his family and I would like to see their latest area of residence. They moved from Union City to Pleasanton, which they like much better.

   I know that life is not so much about what happens to me, but how I react to what happens to me. Things happen all day long, some good, some not so good, but putting controls over my reactions is essential to living a stable and healthy life. I don't think I passed the test today. What the heck was I thinking when I let a ridiculous little hair problem keep me from spiritual renewal? My perspective gets out of whack sometimes and then I go spiraling out of control with what's most important! And to think about all the problems in this world, and I'm worried about the color of my hair! Such a silly thing, I think .. maybe... possibly ... umm - I have a lot to learn ...

   On this Easter day I want to express my gratitude for my Heavenly Father who always watches over this family. It's because of our older brother, Jesus Christ, our personal Savior, that our family can be together forever, and we know we will be with Erick again. I am thankful for the knowledge of an eternal perspective and the realization that there is much more to life than this earthly experience. I am thankful for the scriptures and for the moral values that make me desire to be a better person and to be fair and respectful of all human beings. I am a blessed woman. I have had opportunities beyond my imagination. I want to learn to do better and be better as a mother, sister, friend, daughter, and individual. I love life and hope to live and experience this blessing for many more years.