Mundane and Monotonous? Nah!

Wow, there are so many different aspects to life. Sometimes the day-to-day experiences seem mundane and monotonous; however, on second thought, it really isn't, at least I do not believe so. Every single day brings new challenges, thoughts, and situations, even though it might be a tiny difference.

My daughter has been stopping in 3 times weekly to take a little time in between carpooling to work with Masie on her math and reading. They usually spend about an hour here, and then take off to pick up Lyla and Lars from preschool and my house is a good median so Emrie doesn't have to drive all the way back home before pick-up time. It is very interesting to listen to them working together. Emrie is a good teacher and mother to her children. Some of how she responds to Masie and her lessons reminds me of when I worked with my children when they were younger. Life certainly goes round and round; the seemingly mundane and monotonous is really not so at all. It's all important and necessary every single day. It's these little episodes of every day occurrences that provides the major progressions down the road.

I have a beautiful daughter. I don't mean in outside appearance, though she is that, too; I mean from on the inside. She is compassionate, loyal, witty and feminine, and it's wonderful when she opens up to me and I can share things with her, too, in a different way than with the male species ;-). I feel very blessed that Emrie is in my life and I don't know what I'd do without her. I felt so lucky, blessed, and elated when she came along as my #2 baby- oh, she was so cute and lovely! I've got 8 very good boys, but Emrie is my flower.

(By the way, when I write these journal entries, sometimes I am in a big hurry and I don't go back and correct grammar or clarify thoughts, so please keep this in mind if ever anyone reads these notes; I wonder if someday my children will ever read this journal.)

In the Big Scheme of Life

In a meeting, recently, we talked about ways we are pulled away from what's most important in life. How technology, materialism, professions, or education, etc., can pull us away from time with our families. Of course we know that as women this doesn't mean that we have to put all of our personal interests on the back burner. However, I can tell you this, I did try to put raising my children at the forefront of my everyday life. Even though I chose this path, I am definitely not saying that one route in life is better than another because we are all different. I always wanted to be a wife and a mother before considering any profession outside the home; I yearned for it and I suppose it's one of the reasons we chose to have so many children.

Now I'm in school, just earned my bachelor's at the age of 58, and about to head into a master's program in May. Some women choose to get their education earlier in life and that's wonderful too, but like I said before, we each have our own roads to travel. Sometimes we do not realize why certain choices are made in someone else's life. The way we were raised makes a difference, too; the spirit in which we came to this earth life with is a factor. Erick and I taught our children that a college education is very important. I am thankful that my daughter took this to heart and earned a bachelor's degree early, but that doesn't mean that my path was wrong either, and besides that, I was not raised knowing how important an education can be; my parents didn't finish high school. I am very grateful that I've had the opportunity to go back to school at a later time, but it does not mean that I did the wrong thing by raising my family first or that another obtained her education first.

There are some who try to make you feel ashamed for liking technology because it can be one of those 'distractions', and I agree to a certain point. Obviously if I am ignoring my children, or not staying up with the laundry (etc) then it can get a little lopsided in life, but I do enjoy technology and enjoy living during this time when there is so much. I like computers and cell phones and Facebook, emailing, and texts. I love trying to keep up with the latest programs and love that a lot of my college education happens over the internet. I have seen some older people who can't get out of their homes enjoy the interaction with people through the internet; I love connecting with old friends and sharing family photos, and yes, bragging about my children, and showing off my grandchildren.

There are some women who would rather have a profession than stay at home raising children. There are some of us who would rather stay at home raising a family than have a profession. Some like technology, some hate it; some love to run, while others would rather walk- TO EACH HIS OWN. We need to give each other a break and not judge just because another chooses a different road.

Christmas pictures, and more to come ...

These were pictures taken at Christmas 2013. In order, going from left to right: Hansan, Tommy, Richard, Michael, Nathan, Emrie, Dallan, Timothy, and Taylor. My children are my joy and I love each one of them very, very much. Wish Nathan would let his hair grow out, though ... :-) Like Emrie has sad, "I miss Nathan's hair."

The Big Dark Deception.

Something profound occurred to me this morning, at least profound for me. I have been deceiving myself throughout my life. I have all these internal struggles, worrying about everything imaginable, blaming myself for failures at every level, even little ones; I look in a mirror thinking I see myself clearly and not liking what I see, and heaven forbid if anyone else sees me! I avoid mirrors whenever possible, in fact, I hide; at least, I believed I was hiding ... but, is this the BIG lie? Have I been fooling myself throughout the years? Here I am, a 58-year-old woman and I am just now realizing the power of my own mind. The power of 'darkness', the product of my own negative vibes, that wants me to kick myself out the door and into the gutter, and there I lay, feeling sorry for myself for not being better down every avenue of life. Where did all this negative energy come from? I could give you a long list of what I think about that, but I am not going there right now. I will think on this more and come back at another time.

"I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the most powerful drug known to humanity. " 
                     -Rudyard Kipling

2014

And here it is already 10 days into 2014! Christmas is over and another year begins. I'm trying to hurry and get this note posted before it passes into day 11 and I have 3 minutes! :-) It will be a beautiful year and I will share more tomorrow, but off to bed I go! Yay to a fresh, new year ...

Merry Christmas!

It's been a beautiful Christmas season despite that I got off to a very slow start. In fact, this is the latest I've ever, ever been with Christmas preparations. The boys and I didn't get the tree up until 2 days ago. Then, we didn't  bother to decorate the tree with anything but lights- no ornaments. But, one of my favorite decorations is our stockings and Michael did manage to hang them so it turned out perfect. The happiest part of this Christmas was the fact that every single one of my children and their families were here. We took family pictures to prove it. Xiaojun did the honors and she usually does a very good job.

My sister treated me to an 8-day trip to Cozumel, Mexico. Oh man, it was an experience. A few days before I left, I graduated with a Bachelor's in Social Work (BSW) so I was quite busy with ending classes plus finishing up my internship at NCADD.  The timing of this trip seemed a little stressful since I needed to accomplish so much knowing that all of my children would be here for Christmas. But low and behold, a few days before our departure I also came down with the flu, and let me tell you, it's not often I am in bed all day, but, I was in bed all day for about 3 days.

Thanksgiving in San Francisco

I am relieved to report that although we had two near-death experiences on our way to San Francisco for Thanksgiving, we are still alive! The day before we left, Hansan and Dallan got their driving permits and had never driven on the freeways before so they were excited about getting to drive as much as possible and I let them have one-hour turns; they did pretty good, considering. We almost collided with a semi-truck as we entered the freeway, and another time we almost ran into the back of a car as the highway traffic suddenly slowed down. Other than a few incidents of driving too far onto the shoulder of the road, and passing before looking over the shoulder, I stayed as calm as I possibly could, at least on the outside ... :-)

We had so much fun with Tommy and Xiaojun's family. One day we hiked through a forested trail and then played on the beach. We played plenty of cards and Wii when at the house. We also walked on the Oakland Temple grounds and went to an outdoor mall. There was a lot of good food and talking. It was good to meet Michael and Taylor there, too. Taylor brought a girlfriend named Melinda and rightfully figured out that she isn't for him. It was fun to spend time with my grandchildren while the others went to the theater to see the second part of Hunger Games. It was a very nice and relaxing, low-key visit.

I feel very blessed that all of us had a safe, fun trip. On the way home, Hansan drove about 375 miles and still wasn't tired. Dallan drove a couple of hours but was too tired to drive more. I can guess who has my driving blood running through their veins.

By the way, Timothy, as one of my single boys, was not with us on this trip because he spent Thanksgiving touring New York City with one of his buddies. He had a wonderful time, but we missed him! :-(

I am done with my bachelor's degree! Now onto the master's program!